Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Dracula #6 Things get hairy

"Sasquatch!  My one weakness for some reason!"

That way you can be killed off and I won't have to bother saving you!

No, they don't split up because something is chasing them (something is), but because they are hungry.  Hungry enough to fly against the wind as bats.

Dracula finds the same reoccurring NPC and attacks her.  At least she seems to respawn just fine.

I swear this is a plot from Vampire Tales featuring Morbius

Meanwhile, Lenore finds another NPC but forgets to clean up.  Also, our protagonists---or rather protagonist substitutes made from character development byproducts--travel through the mirror

Because screw continuity

Somehow it takes no time for the group to make it to England despite absolutely no clues.  Dracula could have gone to Prehistoric South America for all they know, but they made it to the right spot with no trouble.

And then they teleport.  Rachel wonders why the lords of some manor are relieved to hear a vampire is around and then Frank is agreeing with her outside.

You can't pretend you're looking for clues after all that bullshit.


Buffy solved this problem in the first season.  How are you this useless while calling yourself a vampire slayer?

Rachel and Lenore have a short off-panel chickfight and it's obvious who wins between a powerful yet hungry vampire and some loser who can't organize her own purse.

Vampires really need to learn to clean up after themselves.

They catch up to Rachel doing the only thing she can competently do: be a damsel in distress.  Jake fires at Dracula, but uses Lenore as a shield.  You weren't hoping for a character arc, were you?

Of course, Rachel survives.  She may be dumber than Dahne from Scooby Doo, but she's a main character.

They annoy YOU?  You don't have to read about them.

Well, You're IN London, you were chasing two vampires and one died, so yes.  That is very likely.  How are you still alive?

Let's take a real disease and turn it into a fantasy creature.  That will never be insulting at all. 

Rachitis, if you don't care to click on the link (or it died), is a chronic disorder that affects bone alignment and rigidity.  It has nothing to do with growing excess hair--that is said to be from nevus pilosis, which is a mole covered in hair.  Neither are genetic.

Not only do these people have crap medical knowledge, but they dumped their own relative in an abandoned building and sent a servant to feed him once a day.  How humane.

Castle?  The guy said it was a chapel. Where exactly are you going?

Who cares.  Dracula decides to lure them to Hagscroft... something because... secrets.

How would he know it's a false move until he makes it?

Also... obligatory giggles at 'groined vaults'.

Really?  That's your death-trap you talked about for two pages?  Throwing a giant rock at someone?

Seriously, Dracula, you DESERVE these twits.

PICTURE: You can't say that now.  You have to wait until the end of the comic arc.

Dracula just grabs her hand while she dramatically holds the stake. I'm honestly wondering how she's alive before meeting Frank.

It turns out this was the real death trap:

I'm betting this oubliette is nowhere near as cool as the one in Labyrinth.

I don't think he's smart enough to contemplate how strong a gene for lack of common sense is. 

Speaking of Frank Drake, did anyone else notice he's barely been in the comic since Rachel decided this was her own Buffy show?

Next time: More Dracula

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