Spider-Man #38 Sider-Man vs... Joe?

Not to be confused with The Villain Previously Known as Joe

Even the cat is laughing at him

Short story shorter, the guy's a failure.

 To be fair, his opponent is made of concrete.

So Joe decides to be an actor instead.  Then, during a shoot, he gets the usual villain-creating backstory.

It's still the 70s and this is already a cliche

Oh, just walk it off.  that's how you cure villainy in the Marvelverse.

Meanwhile, the actual main character is doing something he rarely does--goe s to work.

Because everything has to be about ME!

So, instead of trying to help the lady or even do his job, he leaves.

So far, we've had several pages of what should be a simple sentence for each scene (or less). This is the comic equivalent of a meeting that should be an e-mail (or a post-it note).

Oh hey, ned Leeds is back. Let's see what he has to say.

Apparently, he thinks this is a Soap Opera.  Why can't anyone think this comic is a Super Sentai?

I'm sorry, but who cares?  Betty is a jerk to both of them, very wrong for Parker, and don't both these guys have jobs?   I'm not the only one who thinks this as Jameson breaks them up.

Back to the boxer/actor. He's told to beat up the extras. Why? What'd they do?  Aren't fights in movies and shows supposed to be fake and only LOOk real?

When was Lon Cheney known for fight scenes?

Hes' so into the fight, that he bashes through the set and studio walls and continues to fight random civilians.  Now that's dedication to your craft.

Peter, while wandering around wondering about Betty for no reason, hears screams and decides he'd better turn into Spider-Man and do something productive.

But... it IS cheap

Y'know, Spider-Man has a point there

Somehow they end up on top of a car.  That doesn't last long as.... Joe throws Spider-Man off.  It's HIS car to weck.  If Spidey wants to wreck a car, he can go talk to the Raimis.

The writers were apparently as bored as the readers with that, so they decided to write a different plot.  

How will changing your suit work as a disguise?

That's the older Osborn, just FYI.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can't put 'some guy' as your employer

Who is going to accept bills cut in half?  Even banks would be suspicious.

I think there are a few steps mission in that logic

The comic gets bored with that and decides to make fun of Peter at college.  Sounds like an improvement to me.

Can I join?

They're protesting a protest?

There is a LOT of talking, resulting nothing.  Peter doesn't want to join a protest when muppets and Concrete have already joined.  Joe needs a nap.  Mr. McTotallydisguised still wants Spider-Man. Why are peopel pad so much money to wasted five pages with this?

Dr. Teeth before he tooth fashion advice from Elton John

Surely concrete knows what to protest

What's the point of this scene?  Filler?

He's jealous  you all look so good with Youngblood's disease

And... the comic got bored with itself again. At least Spider-Man is back to being Spider-Man now.

Maybe you should make that plan before you get close to him

Because he might challenge you to a dance-off, apparently

Meanwhile, telling Joe to calm down doesn't calm him own.

After a page of fighting, Joe gets back to the gym to yell at everyone.

Concrete is still not impressed with this guy

So Joe started fighting them.  Honestly, I don't know who is winning, but a fight between a super-powered guy named Joe and Concrete is already awesome.

If Concrete is telling you how to do your job, you're already five steps behind

Which one? Spider-Man or Joe?  Either way, it sounds like a good idea

Honestly, I have no idea who is winning.  The generic gym guys are getting some damage in, so either the gym is selling Super Soldier Serum or superpowers mean nothing against someone who constantly works out.  Why are random people at a gym trying to beat up Spider-Man?  Because they heard about the bounty.  Is it normal for hitmen to hang out in Planet Fitness?

Actually, dance classes are supposed to be more common than free-for-all fights

 in gyms

When did Concrete change clothes?

The police explain it was the chemicals that made him go on a rampage, so they won't bother arresting or charging him or anything.  Oh, and his rampage on the movie set scored him an acting contract with the studio.  Problem solved.  Why did anyone need Spider-Man again?

Put your clothes back on!

Spider-Man then decides to fight the remaining thugs--who have all changed into suits--on the ground. Why?  He can just web-sling away without even anchoring his web to anything.

The irony!  It's too much!

After winning the fight--or at least Spidey says he did--he gets mad at a store mannequin.  And then he decided to beat up the object purely because it looks like Ned Leeds--a guy who did absolutely nothing to him and wanted to be his friend when it was Betty who threw tantrums and acted petty.

Given how many times post-2000 writers want to break up Peter and the woman he ends up MARRYING and HAS A CHILD WITH, due to nonsense, I'd say Betty and Peter deserve each other and Ned deserved far better.

Meanwhile, Aunt May is visited by a trufula tree

Aunt May tries to introduce Peter to Ms. Trufula Tree, but alas, she's gone.  She probably read One More Day and 2020's comics.

Peter mopes, watches a few seconds of TV, and then goes to bed.  this has to be the most pointless comic yet.

 WHAT THE HELL IS HE SWINGING ON COUNT: 5