Most issues have these sorta-but-not spoilery covers. Some are intentionally very misleading, and some turn out to be just random after you read the story. This one is spot-on.
 |
| If you can't read that, it says it's written by the watcher informant and cameo master himself |
Mr. Scientist calls his daughter over to show her his achievement. She's impressed, but then suddenly remembers she has a date and stops caring. Looks like teens were pretty much the same as they are now as they were back in...I don't know. There's a guillotine on the cover, but the last person to be executed by one was in 1977, and the outfits look like they're from 1860 or so. I have no idea when this takes place.
 |
| I'm no scientist, but I don't think leaving your Frankenstein equipment in the sink is a good idea |
The daughter finds out about the robbery the next day in the paper. No matter what, he's going to get the death sentence as that was hardly the first bank he ever robbed. Since the police/judges/anyone else int he story or off-panel is no help, she goes to her father and asks him to bring him back to life after he's killed.
 |
| I'm pretty sure that this is still a time period she shouldn't be showing off her ankles |
 |
| How do his vocal chords work? |
The next section is a pure text story. I can't really review it as there are no pictures to show, and I can't read them on my tablet, anyway. So, moving on...
 |
| The strangest sound effect for getting kicked in the butt |
That's it. It's pretty good for an ironic short story, actually.
Next up: Stephen, a young boy, brings home a frog to show off to his...I'm going to say Evil Stepmother. He calls her Auntie, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's his aunt, from my experience.
 |
| Oh no! Nature! Take it away! |
The next... day (I guess), a new kid moves in next door. Stephen isn't allowed to even talk to him, as he's being punished. So the new kid thinks he's a total sissy. So, in the tradition of Cinderella, Stephen resorts to magic to solve his problems.
Unlike Cinderella, Stephen is much more proactive. He goes to his local Magic Shop What? Your neighborhood doesn't have one? He tells his Evil Stepmother that it's just a game book. Either this was written by someone who thought D&D let you cast real spells, or she has no idea what her neighborhood is like.
 |
| TLDR: Rich old ladies are evil |
In the end, he turns his Evil Stepmother into a slimy frog and the next door neighbor is impressed. It's a happy ending until Stephen runs out of food or the repo guys come and call CPS.
Next up, a panhandler asks another for some help as he's truly poor while the other guy is one of those scammers that gets mad if you give him actual food. Naturally, he's told to piss off. The poor panhandler wanders off, getting so emo about his situation that he nearly gets run over by a car.
He's yelled at for being an idiot, which just depressed him more.
He tries to take a long walk off a short pier, but a policeman stops him and chases him off for trespassing. This guy can't catch a break and has nothing to live for other than not being able to kill himself.
Or maybe not. He gets home and waiting for him is his lawyer. Don't worry if you're confused, he didn't know he had one, either. It turns out he just inherited a million dollars. Now he finally has a reason to live, like having something to eat every day.
He rushes out to make it to the bank in time, but ends up falling down some stairs that no inspector would call safe--were there such rules at the time. The story ends with the lawyer saying 'and he had so much to live for. Yeah, for about two minutes.
The last story involves Blackie and his final fate.
 |
| Yes, a fate worse than what hapened to his head. |
So Blackie says to make like a cleric and mediate to whatever deity roomie worships and get more spells. Despite this comic probably being too old for that reference, it works. Roomie summons up Satan and disappears for the comic. Satan appears but is uninterested; Blackie's soul already belongs to him because he's a murderer. Again, always plan ahead. Satan says Blackie is in fact so mean--or annoying to look at--that he has to stay on earth instead of going to hell. This is perfectly fine with Blackie, as he wants to be a ghost after he dies so he can annoy the judge who sentenced him and Satan agrees.
Remember how I said to plan ahead (twice)? Blackie didn't. He goes to the electric chair happy about it (you'd think this would give everybody involved a pause to see what's up). He's ready to be a vengeful ghost the second he's dead. Somehow he quickly finds the judge's home address and ghosts off to it immediately. He haunts the judge but somethings up...nothing happens. It's like the judge doesn't even notice him. It turns out ghosts are real, but humans can't see, hear, or feel them. But the wind can, and a breeze blows him out into outer space. Because ghosts have no friction and that's how the wind works. Aren't old comics so educational?
 |
| I really wish this had its own spin-off series |
Yep, sad tuba has really got its work cut out for it in this issue.
Admittedly, yes, this is an old comic. It's pretty dated and back then I'll admit few people gave a crap about basic science and just wanted a good read--which it is. If you can stand the occasionally wonky artwork, strange tales was a good run science fantasy until it changed to feature the Human Torch and supervillains instead--nothing wrong with that, but completely different stuff.
_________________________________________
 |
| Click here |
It's Marvel's favorite and most useless vampire. It's Morbius in the Marvel Rebooted Universe.
Also, check out Duskodesh, a great artist and a wonderful Morbius fan. Thanks for donating!
___________________________________
Looking for more? Check out my store or my Deviantart or my AO3 or contribute to keep my works going, including this blog by donating to my Patreon
No comments:
Post a Comment