Spider-Douchery #23: Goblin Deja Vu

We start with the Green goblin trying to take over the mob scene of New York...wait, sorry, this is an issue I've already reviewed.

No, it's the next issue. It's got a new cover and number and everything.  Did Stan Lee get bored of his own creation before he wrote 25 issues of it?

No, there's tons more Spider-Man left...yay?

But the Green Goblin got bored with the stupid plot and he leaves before page 3 is over.

Except, you know, blind

Oddly, the people who aren't too bored are the police and civilians.  People on the street actually notice the Goblin flying around and report it to the police, who track down which building he flew out of and actually bother to ask what's going on.

The cops can't get enough proof, but the gangsters don't take that for granted.

Is it possible to have deja vu of deja vu?

We move on to Peter Parker giving us a play-by-play of his day

from his house that sits on a 20-foot mound, apparently

Finally, he shuts up and goes snooping around Betty's desk.  She's not here, so it's okay to check her mail as long as he doesn't open it.  It's from Ned Leeds.  Don't worry, this story won't ever actually go anywhere.

Meanwhile, Jameson rehires Foswell.  Remember him?  Me either.  It's not really worth remembering him anyway because everyone will tell you what to remember about him.

For filler, it's a nice creative touch to remember characters that have already been used, but it's still filler.  Even the writers know these guys are going nowhere but a folder marked 'names we used so we don't invent the same character twice'.

Jameson tells Peter to stop messing around if he's only here to see Betty, so Peter does just that. He sees Betty I mean.  He goes back to her desk to wait, but she had arrived in the meantime.  Isn't this exciting?

Leave it to Marvel to give me a plot that makes me want to beg for the other plot that they repeated.

He's pissy because she already made plans to work late and she had the gall to not mention the letter from Ned Leeds to him. If I remember correctly, you've never had a single date with Betty, she's spent more time mad at you than liking you, and you're not the one who dated Ned, so it's not your business.

I think the Goblin's plan is to torture the readers.

Peter decides to follow Foswell, as he was a forgettable mob boss last time he appeared.  He decides this is a job for Spider-Man but remembers he left his suit hanging to dry.

I'm torn: him stripping before he realizes that would be hilarious, but I don't want child porn in my comic library

While Peter runs off to get his costume, the Goblin and Foswelel meet up to take out Lucky, the current mob boss by...proving he cheated on his taxes.

I guess this is more exciting than Peter rooting through someone else's mail.

So Foswell decides to interrupt an expensive soiree Jameson is throwing to show him proof that a mob boss is guilty of tax fraud.  I don't think trying to do something illegal like printing someone's income receipts he hasn't paid taxes on is how you prove you're on the side of the law.

Instead of printing it, as Jameson said he would, he goes to the police.  Or maybe he took the newspaper to the police.  I can't tell.  Either way, you're left wondering why Foswel didn't take the information to the police.

Both the police and freshly-laundered-smelling Spider-Man go after Lucky, who attempts a high-speed chase.  For tax evasion?  I guess the IRS takes things seriously in New York.

It's the Green Goblin who stops Lucky from getting away and Spidey decides to ignore Lucky and follow the Goblin.  Maybe Spider-Man has ADD.  That might explain some things.

In this comic, his ears get bigger and bigger ala Powergirl's boobs. Man, boobs could really make this a better comic right now

The Goblin asks Lucky if Lucky wants to join him and Lucky decides the smart thing to do is to attack him, which leads Spider-Man to decide to help out the Goblin.  At least he's helpful this time.

With Spider-Man fighting the mob, he Goblin leaves.  Would people make up their minds?

Okay, technically, this was Green Goblin's plan: to make the gangsters and Spidey fight so he can take on whoever's left.  It's way better than Foswell's plan of nothing and the Goblin's last plan of nothing.

Spidey's webbing is set to 'spooge' apparently

He webs up all the gangsters, then makes it to the next room and seal the door while he calls the police Aunt May.  He hangs up before the mobsters break down the door.  Maybe if he took the time to properly web them up the comic would be over by now and everyone can go home.

He just throws a web-net over them, which misses Lucky.  He's just half-assing it today.  No really, he is.  He didn't even ask why the Goblin was bothering Lucky until Lucky says he'd rather surrender and work with Spidey than with the Goblin.

Good thing Spider-Man doesn't care.  Maybe he can make this comic end already.  He chases the Green Goblin and jumps on the Goblin's back.

Good plan so far

Spider-Man cheats by jumping off at the last second, so the Goblin cheats too by throwing things that explode...after they both landed in a confined space.  I like this new plan too.

Sadly, the writer forgot they explode, so it's just useless banter for several pages until the writer Deus Ex Machina's a window for the Goblin to fly out and Spider-Man barely misses catching him.

So he gives up, turns back into Peter Parker and spies on Foswell, which has no point in the story.  Too bad he doesn't have a tracking device like he did last issue ago.

"Yeah, I'm kind of a dumbass that way"

Then he decides to be passive aggressive at Betty so he can whine about her some more when he gets home.

More like 'foreboredom' from his face

At least it's finally over.

WHAT THE HELL IS HE SWINGING ON COUNT: 15
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