Giant-Sized Geeking: Spider-Douchery #26 the Goblin again and...The Shadow?

That's a gas gun, not a tentacle gun. Still, WTF?

That should be the reader there instead of Spidey

Thanks, Peter

So, that happened. don't worry, it really doesn't matter. He can't find his suit, so he just goes to bed. What a waste of five panels. Tell us that first, not the above panel.

Meanwhile, the actual plot is going on while Peter is sleeping. The Green Goblin is mad ~~Rorchach The Shadow~~ The Crimemaster doesn't give a crap about teaming up anymore and says that the mob is his and his alone. yeah, I wouldn't put my money on The Crime Master either and I'm still on page 4 (1 if you don't count the filler).

Later, the mob (or some clubhouse of criminals) are complaining to each other that Spider-Man is ruining any chances of pulling off a heist. Whoever they are, The Crime Master throws a bomb at them and walks off as if he just tossed a paid bill in the mailbox.

Weirdest segue I've ever read

And then the car explodes. And then someone calls up the owner. I think ALL car owners should be concerned. And then The Crimemaster runs out of things and people to bomb, so he goes to work. man the economy sucked just as much as it did then and it does now if supervillains have to take a second job.

Speaking of jobs, Pater doesn't go out trying to photograph anything, he just shows up where he isn't technically hired to bother Betty. She yells at him about seeing girls that are actually his age (seriously, she has a serious job and doesn't go to school, how old is she? Why is she so interested in a minor?) including someone whom he has never met.

Thankfully, Jameson interrupts this stupidity to tell Peter to do his job. I think Jameson stopped being the voice of reason once Peter actually starts being responsible. As Peter leaves, he spots Fosswell and remembers that the guy is up to something, but also that he hasn't gotten proof yet. Remember this, people. I'm going to fast forwards later to when he forgets to do this. seriously, this guy has a serious problem soon. I think being rejected from the FF and Avengers has given him some need to overcompensate later. Besides, why does he even want to join those guys? The FF are all family members who were involved int he same accident and the Avengers deal with world to multiverse level problems. Spider-Man is street level, thus The friendly NEIGHBORHOOD Spider-Man. Although he seems to forget the friendly later on, too.

Seconds later he relaced that with a real tracker and saved whatever he's got there for Miles Morales to use to bludgeon people unconscious

Oh, right, the plot. Peter then goes to...school? I'm suspecting Peter's just some one-man rival gang to Flash's given how he can just run off to the Daily bugle any time he wants and Flash is super violent.

Speaking of which, after trying to avoid fighting flash for the entire comic last issue, it only takes a few bad insults for perter to start fighting flash in this one. Liz tries to break up the fight, but it's so useless she runs off crying. Well, now you don't have any

Well, your woman problems are solved, at least

Being turned to stone isn't stopping that kid from making Peter miserable

Thanks to your classic zero-tolerance policies at school, Peter gets in big trouble for fighting. Peter walks away from the principal's office, upset that he should have known better (well, yeah), and Flash is stunned that Peter took all the blame and left him and his gang out of it. this is the beginning of Peter actually showing some responsibility and humility and being the guy we all like. It's also the beginning of Flash showing some humanity, especially after he admits he was at fault too to the principal. As for Liz...I think she has one panel of maturity and then she's either bitchy to the wrong person or a villain. Enjoy here while she just has cliche PMS or whatever.

Meanwhile ( I guess), the Crimemaster is threatening more nameless criminals. This time, instead of just bombing them and leaving them for dead or terrified enough to come running to him for safety, he's firing a warning shot.

And then we're back to the bugle. Jameson is boasting that one of his reporters knows who the Crimemaster is.

Well, it looks like school is both optional and not actually a school, as we change to Peter buying a Spider-man costume at a costume shop. Y'know, you could buy makeup so that if you're ever unmasked, you don't look like you.

This was apparently before his quips were funny. Or made sense. although if he dressed as Frankenstein a few itmes just to throw people off, it would be damn funny.

Well, it doesn't matter. The costume starts coming apart and sags every which way. Welcome to my adolescence, Peter.

Anyway...

And are both very uncomfortable

Sorry, ANYWAY, Spider-Man actually gets to doing his job...whatever you call superhero when you pretty much just bust car thieves and people who might as well just be on their way to some musical. A better one than the actual Spider-Man musical, anyway.

Just because no one is home doesn't mean there aren't signs of life. Someone remind him he's supposed to be a genius.

Spider-Man decides to track down The Crimemaster instead of the brightly colored Goblin he knows is much more dangerous. Sure, The Crimemaster kills people, but he goes after other crooks. He's eliminating them, organizing them, forcing them to use discipline and self-control so as to NOT escalate things unless it's important. The Goblin likes to go after innocent people.

Plus, uh, Spidey? You turned the light on. The CrimeMaster is going to notice--he did. When does this guy remember he's a genius? Well, whatever he is, he manages to dodge a bullet. Literally. Spidey does the smart thing (for once) and runs away.

The CrimeMaster is either pretty fast or Spider-Man is slow in his new costume because the CrimeMaster chases Spidey across the rooftops, shooting at him. Luckily the CrimeMaster runs out of bullets. unluckily, he didn't wait to see if the Crimemaster was going to pull out another weapon and gets a face full of gas (from a gun, this comic isn't THAT bad).

The two struggle for a bit. The Crimemaster sucks at hand-to-hand fighting, especially against someone strong like Spider-Man, and Spidey can't breathe through the clinging gas. Eventually, Spider-Man throws himself off the building to pull his mask off.

So, what does he do next? Bother Betty...of course ...? Actually, he bothers Jameson about his other costume. Then he goes back and tries Foswell again. Either he's smartened up considerably or he's trying to unlock some achievement there.

He found this in a vase along with three rupees

But wait you say, we're finally getting to the plot, you say. Things are finally making sense and dropping all this filler nonsense. Oh, you sweet, summer child.

Quick! Call someone who cares about this character!

For once, the police not only exist but are smart. They point out guys assembling somewhere, even abandoned docks, is not illegal, but they can keep surveillance on them. Keep this in mind for later. ~~There will be a test later.~~ It'll be relevant later.

Oh, and stone guy is also on the force.

Anyway, The Crimemaster is telling the Goblin he can't take over the mob because he has proof of the Goblin's secret identity. You know who this should be? Kingpin. Or Silvermane. Or Tombstone. Or someone actually threatening and interesting. So goblin throws smoke bombs at him for both kicks and to keep from being shot.

Meanwhile...I have no idea where anyone is right now in the comic. spider-Man is spying on the mob guys at the docks. The Goblin is behind him and following him, leaving a smoke trail. The Crimemaster is..somewhere.

And his spider-sense is nowhere

Then the Goblin throws a stun bomb at Spidey 'to finish him off''. Uh, Goblin, it doesn't stun and then bomb.

Without the narration, this would be SOO wrong

Not helping

Meanwhile, the Crimemaster decides this is the perfect time to become the Kingpin of the underworld. Except, the Kingpin is the character that will be remembered as the kingpin of the underworld. But he's not here so the Crimemaster arrives to meet with the mobsters who arent' dead and declares himself the leader.

Except: