Somehow, I don't see this game show lasting long

Frank Drake looks at what was once a real estate investment and is now a pile of rubble.  It's hard to tell, despite the copious amounts of narration, but I think he's looking for the basement.

Looks more like the Tomb of Darkseid to me.

Blablabla flashback.  It's pretty pointless.  He and his friends go to Castle Dracula, wake up the vampire, the vampire kills his friends, revenge, yadayada.

But hey, they hear a familiar voice coming from a trap door.  In Dracula's Tomb (or basement).  That can't be ominous, right?

It turns his old pal Clifton, his friend is there.  It turns out he was in Dracula's junk drawer.

Well, one less person to get revenge for. Always nice to be able to cross that off your To Do list.

On the top of that list is 'Steal Dracula's Coffin'.  Me, I'd just fill it with cat litter.

Meanwhile...

I think he's shocked he's on the sequel to Rocky Horror Picture Show

No, it's nothing quite that bad.  Dracula wants the doctor to do... something.  Whatever it is, it means HMO's don't expire for the undead, they just reinstate once you're back and walking or flying around.

Either the artist mistook 'too pale' for 'too short' or he's not a very good doctor

And then Dracula kills him for vampire- shaming.

Meanwhile, Frank Drake is actually being smart.  somehow he not only sold all the rubble and surrounding land, but he managed to drag the coffin all the way to London. Why take it to where Dracula has already been?  Why not the sunny beaches of Portugal?

Clifton wonders what they'll do if customs wants to search the coffin.  Why?  You're not carrying drugs or illegal fruit in it. Is the wrong body in there?

Well, that's enough smarts for one comic.  Later Frank's all alone in a hotel and he hears a noise and decides to investigate with no weapon or telling anyone.  If he were dumber, he'd be in heels and sexy undies.

It's Jeanie.  In the shower.  With her clothes on.

While she's trying to seduce Frank, Clifton stumbles in, drunk.  At least he has an excuse to be dumb.

The same reason you went away, dumbass

Meanwhile, Dracula starts a barfight over a single woman and Jeanine tries to seduce both guys.  It's pretty easy to know who is successful and who is not when one is just albino and the other feels like trying to make out with Icy Hot and has an allergy to crosses.

Well, standing there won't help anyone

While that cliche is happening, Jeanie tries to sweet-talk Clifton into trusting her.  On one hand, bitey-hungry vampire.  On the other, hot vampire sex.

He chooses the latter.

He gets himself hypnotized, drugs Frank, lets Dracula in, and unties  Jeanie so they can make out.  

This would be kinky if it wasn't so stupid. 

There's a pretty good fight scene next, but the prose gets int he way, which is sad as the prose tends to add suspense and atmosphere tot eh comic usually.

Frank also let the window open.  While Dracula gets away (it would be a short series if he didn't).  No, I don't know why Dracula lives while flying in the day while Jeanie dies.   I just think this is a pretty moving scene that the comic ends on.

We'll see what happens after we check in on Spider-Douche.

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