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| It's not even the 80's yet. I highly doubt this is your destiny |
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| Is he fighting puddies? |
Yes, it's a new era of... the same exact stuff.
Yep. Random bad guys steal something undefined and a second later Spider-Man chases after them because they have to do bad things before he goes after them. Attempted crimes are crimes yet. All while it's bright daylight described as night.
But hey, we get a helicopter. That's new.
They try to gas him, but even Spider-Man knows that's a dumb idea when you shout what you're doing first and have a window open.
As Spider-Man--the narration says he fights, but the inside of the helicopter is like a Tardis as it's the size of a garage inside and the comic doesn't show what Spider-Man is doing-- supposedly does something useful, the puddies cover up the 'stolen devices' with waterproof covers and trackers and drop them int he ocean according to 'plan G' from orders of 'the master planner' who then sends 'taskforce R' to retrieve the goods. Who wants to be it's either Foswell or the writers are trying to milk this Cat guy no one remembers?
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| But nothing like ghosts that aren't awesome. |
Meanwhile, Spider-Man is still fighting as if he waited for all of that to happen first. Ther gas gets to him, so he does what every person in a video game will eventually do: break everything and run away.
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| Man, the 60's must have been brutal if that's what passed for morals from a superhero |
Innocent bystander shot and killed? Horrible tragedy. Guys who steal? Long and painful water death. Makes sense, right?
For some reason, despite the puddies in the helicopter al being rescued and taken to the underwater base, spider-Man can't see it when he goes looking for survivors.
Cue generic villain speech from a guy not shown that tells us nothing. Cue Peter leaving the house for unspecified reasons. Cue aunt May worrying and saying she's ill.
What's next? College registration. Even Peter's bored with it and wants to get it over with. This is WAY too realistic.
Some semblance of an actual plot instead of boredom or drawn-out foreshadowing happens as Aunt may faints and Peter barely has time to catch her. At least she doesn't have what the mom in Fullmetal alchemist had.
On Peter's real first day of college, we are introduced to Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, and Flash 2.0. still no mouth filter, but no longer the might-as-well-be-a-criminal guy and who deep down is a real human being. Cool. Can you do that for Peter next? Spoiler: eventually they do; it's just that it'll be a while.
Everyone except Gwen is annoyed Peter is ignoring them when not even she thinks to walk up, get his attention, and learn that he's preoccupied with his only relative in the hospital.
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| Usually, women have to talk to the pathetic geeks to fall for them. Gwen doesn't waste time. |
Gwen decides to meet common sense halfway and talk to Peter, even if just to distract him for jerks to be jerky to him.
Harry, who is smart enough to be in college, sabotages the chemicals Peter is mixing. This is as smart as microwaving an alarm clock as far as pranks go.
Thankfully no one is hurt when the chemicals ignite and Gwen thinks maybe these guys aren't as nice as they said.
Peter visits Aunt May in the hospital, but nothing of character or for the plot happens. When Peter gets home, he finds a lot of bills are waiting to be paid.
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| No, Peter, you're too boring for porn |
No, he decides to do the job he already has.
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| I call bullshit on a crimeless New York night. |
Even Jameson and Foswell say there's no crime or even anything newsworthy happening. It's as if the comic has just realized how boring it is after forgetting the first few pages.
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| Weren't you dating Ned last comic? When did you start dating Peter? And when did you start telling Jameson about it? |
I'm not kidding. Ned comes by and asks if she's made up her mind and she says she wants to be fair to both guys. At least she's more straightforward than most romance manga heroines.
Meanwhile Foswell... hears a rumor. That's it. If you're looking for something even pretending to be impressive, this comic doesn't have it.
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| I'm a woman and that means I can't stand being ignored by a stranger! |
The comic just cycles between Spider-Man swinging around, Peter at school, and Peter visiting his aunt in the hospital.
Finally, after six pages, we get a hint at action. Not actions, but at least it's a hint. some guy says he THINKS a robbery will happen.
Do we get actions? Yes. Are we told where? Um... a boat?
Spider-an goofs around and the bad guys dodge. Did you want more?
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| Um, irony? |
Sadly, Spider-Man just rips it apart. Take that only entertaining panel in the entire comic!
The fighting goes on for two pages and then Spider-Man hides once a single police officer and a disguised Foswell show up.
The story ends with vaguely ominous people being vaguely ominous. Spider-Man accomplished nothing and no lessons were learned by anyone other than writers at Marvel who learned they can write a story full of nothing and that it will sell.
What was this destiny thing? When was it supposed to show up? Was this a cliche title even back then?
What the hell is he swinging on count: 11
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